


Beauty in the Raw

by OwlOfMyLove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Body Image, Breastfeeding, F/M, Lactation Kink, Mild Smut, Oral Sex, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:13:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlOfMyLove/pseuds/OwlOfMyLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Several months after giving birth, Belle is dissatisfied and uncomfortable with her new body. Luckily, Rumplestiltskin knows how to make her feel better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty in the Raw

**Author's Note:**

> There is a trigger warning for body image. I apologize profusely if that upsets anyone.

Belle Gold took a quick glance in the mirror and let out a dejected sigh.

She knew it was absolutely ridiculous for her to be feeling this way about herself. It was near hypocritical of her, if she would say so. Belle was the one that taught that beauty was not what was on the outside, but what was in ones heart. She knew this better than anyone in all of their old world and Storybrooke. Yet here she was, standing naked in front of the mirror, examining her body and focusing only on the outer beauty that she had.

Or use to have, anyways.

"You're being absolutely silly," she told herself as she ran her hands over her stomach. "If Rumple catches you, he's going to give you such a tease."

In a few months her flat and smooth belly had began to protrude. A baby was growing inside her and her waistline grew dramatically. She wasn't a petite carrier and her body grew as the baby grew. That wasn't such a problem to Belle; she wanted a healthy pregnancy and the changes in her body were a pleasant reminder that her child was growing strong in her womb. While Emma and Mary Margaret told her how uncomfortable pregnancy was, Belle was unique in finding it to be a serene experience. Perhaps it was because she was spoiled the entirety of the pregnancy. Of course Rumple discovering that he'd be a father again would cause him to make sure that both wife and child were happy and safe. With his insistence, he took care of every craving and desire she had during the pregnancy. He held her in the sleepless nights and caressed her round stomach as the baby kicked and whispered in her ear how absolutely beautiful she was. Belle assumed she only found the pregnancy to be so serene was because of Rumple's constantly care and compliments that flowed her way.

Belle traced the stretch marks on her sides with her finger tips. "He'll quip about how you fell in love with him looking like a monster."

It was nearing seven months past the birth of Elicia Gold, but Belle was struggling greatly to return back to the way she was before the pregnancy.

Sure, the wonders of a treat she discovered in Storybrooke called ice cream and Granny's amazing hamburgers were on top of her craving list, but she made sure to eat as healthy as possibly during the pregnancy to ensure proper care for two. Even after the birth she would ask Rumple to make sure she didn't sneak in any extra pints of ice cream so she could trim back down. Belle insisted on walking to work, too. The library wasn't too far away from their pink home and it was all too easy to make sure Elicia was bundled to appropriate the weather, place her in the stroller, and walk the distance to the library. She found books in her library about helping with post-partum weight but this was a slow process that she was impatient for.

With another dejected sigh, Belle stepped away from the mirror and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to become nice and hot before she stepped in.

There were days now where she wished the mirrors were covered. Most days were normal and the post-partum changes to her body were in the back of her mind as she would watch Rumple play with Elicia, guiding her as she learned to crawl along the floor and holding her above his head, staring into the eyes she shared with her Papa. Elicia would laugh and smile back at her Mama, stretch out her tiny arms and reach up towards her parents, squealing with a baby laugh that let the whole town know that Elicia Gold was the most loved and happiest child in all the worlds. Moments came though, most of the time when she caught herself naked in the mirror, where she hated the way she looked and all of those happy moments from earlier in the day flickered away for a moment of selfish self-pity.

The shower was brief and when she dried off and wrapped her housecoat around her clean skin, she found her husband in the sitting room with a book that he had been slowly making his way through and a cup of tea at his side. He didn't notice her walk in and quietly turned the page to continue the story.

Her heart ached. Since the birth, Belle had been less than eager for sex. Her pregnancy had moments from wanting it every single minute of every single day to being repulsed with the idea of being intimate at the moment. She knew it frustrated Rumple at times have her mood bounce between wanting sex and not wanting it but he never showed it on his face how hurt and frustrated he was with her mood changes. When she was cleared weeks after delivery to be intimate again, Rumple placed Elicia down in her crib and slowly began to place warm kisses along her jawbone, whispering a suggestion of making their way to the bedroom to finally do an act he's been longing to do for weeks. Belle was far from the mood and told her understanding husband that though the Doctor had given her the go ahead, she felt that she needed a bit more time. He understood and never pressured her.

Rumplestiltskin had proposed sex only a small handful of times since then. It was always the most sensual of ways with sweet kisses and a hand of his that may attempt to explore her body, but she was less than comfortable with the idea. When the moment came that they were finally to be intimate since her giving birth, Belle was stiff. She insisted the lights be off, murmuring that she thought it would be more romantic that way when in truth she didn't want him to see her naked. His hands tried to explore her body and all she could feel was him grabbing at extra folds that she was not use to. Skin that was once tight and fat that had not been there before. Gods, Rumple did feel amazing as tongue ran over the most sensitive areas of her body and while he entered her she could feel how long it had been. It was pleasurable, but the fraught of her new body made her focus more on the skin that rolled and shifted than her husband showing his desire.

Almost seven months since the birth and she could count all the times they had been intimate on one hand.

It wasn't fair. She loved Rumplestiltskin more than he could or would ever know, and her desire both sexual and romantic, ran strong for him but she was just in a difficult and almost explainable position with herself. Belle knew that Rumple had been through something similar before with his first wife. When she was still pregnant, he told her about Milah and how after Bae's birth, he never touched his wife again. She sought out the company of other men and he was left alone. She rebuffed him every time and would chide about how repulsed by him she was. He assured her that he never sought the company of others, implying that if she was the same that he would remain faithful. Belle felt as if she was no better than Milah.

When she stepped forward the floorboard beneath her creaked, making her presence known.

Rumple straightened his back and looked over his shoulder, smiling to see her standing behind him. "Hey, Belle."

She smiled back at her husband, heart still aching. "Hey. Did Elicia wake up while I was in the shower?"

"No. She's stayed asleep since we put her down. Though she may be waking up soon to eat," he glanced momentarily at the clock on the wall. Their daughter had been asleep for a few hours now.

Belle sucked on her bottom lip. The lack of intimacy between them was wearing him down. She loved him so dearly and yet could not physically show her affection over these stupid feelings of her outer beauty. Of course Rumplestiltskin would never be one to complain to his wife about the lack of sex. He respected her too much to be like that. Still...

"Are you going to stay up a bit longer?" Belle whispered, feeling the cold air of the sitting room crawl up her body. "I'm going to retire."

"I'll join you shortly, love. This chapter is almost over and I've been reading through this book too slowly," Rumplestiltskin smiled.

As if on cue, Elicia broke a sleepy cry throughout the silence.

Being naked underneath the robe, Belle was able to free her breast easily to feed their child.

She sat in the rocking chair adjacent to the crib and lazily pushed the rocker with her foot to help lull Elicia back to sleep. Their child latched quickly and began to heavily gulp down the milk flowing through Belle's breasts. Elicia's body was tight and curled up against her mother lovingly, a tiny hand rested on her breast that she was feeding from.

Belle loved these moments. It was moments like these where she could forget about those nagging negative feelings of her body. Elicia was a product of her changed body, and she adored her daughter so much. She had the dark brown eyes that her brother and Papa shared, and Belle's auburn hair was a thin layer upon the baby's head, a smile that was an even mixture of both of her parents, and a laugh that Rumple once remarked reminded him of the same one Baelfire had at her age.

Slowly, as Elicia continued to drink more milk, her body began to relax away from Belle's to imply that she was becoming full and satisfied with her midnight meal.

When she returned Elicia to her crib, Belle stood in front of her child and watched her sleep. Her tiny chest rose up and down, pink lips protruding out, and a soft snore that sounded more like a hum. Their child was so beautiful. So precious. There were many nights where she stood before the crib and watched her daughter sleep after feeding her and she wondered if there were ever times when Rumple would come in and do the same, just to appreciate the beauty and wonder of their child. Her breast that had no fed Elicia had overflown and the warm milk dripped from her and down her body, spilling through the thin fabric of the robe. The breast ached slightly from being filled with milk, if only Elicia was willing to eat a bit more...

In their room, Rumplestiltskin was no where to be seen. Belle removed the robe and with it cleaned up the milk that had dripped down her body and placed it in the laundry hamper. She decided on an overlarged silk shirt for her pyjamas, hoping the silk against her skin would help her feel better by the time the morning hours rolled around and slipped between the cool sheets.

"Is something the matter?" Rumple's soft voice broke the silence. Belle perked her head up, breaking her away from the pillow she barely had time to rest her head upon. Even with his cane and floor boards that would surprise them with the occasional squeak, he had crept up on her. Rumplestiltskin shrugged off his jacket and had began to unbutton his shirt; a sight that always aroused her.

"Feeling an evening of self-pity," she mumbled softly.

He stopped undressing and moved to sit at the foot of the bed, pressing for her to continue. Belle tucked a wet lock of hair behind her ear and sucked on her bottom lip for a moment. "It's embarrassing to say. You'll make a quip."

"Sweetheart," Rumple began to slowly rub his hand up and down her left leg. "I'll make you a deal; you tell me what's bothering you and I promise not to quip."

Belle couldn't help but smirk. Of course he would make a silly deal out of this to get her to talk. He had promised to her, after all...

She sat up in the bed and took hold of the hand that was caressing her leg. "It's so silly, Rumple. I know it's not one the outside that matters, that there is so much more in beauty than what shows on the outside," she paused and could feel her body growing hot. Seven months of a near sexless marriage and poor body image was now budding through in a long confession. "I don't like my changes, Rumple. My breasts are now large, my hips are wide, my stomach isn't flat anymore and there's pink marks all over my stomach and thighs. I can't seem to go back to the way I once was."

Silence was between the couple and Belle felt like she was on fire. She wanted to break down and apologize over the lack of intimacy they had, the reason she had been so out of character, the frustration she had with the struggle she had to return back to her normal state. Belle wanted to almost laugh about how ironic this whole situation was. How now she felt like the one who was ugly and disfigured and now Rumplestiltskin was the one with no physical flaws.

Finally, Rumple spoke. "I can see why you'd think I would jest at that."

"It's so silly!" She exhaled. "Beauty isn't skin deep and yet, here I am, feeling overwhelming self-pity for the body I had before I became pregnant."

Rumple swallowed hard. "Do...you blame me for your changes?" She understood what he meant. Blaming him for falling unexpectedly pregnant when they agreed to wait until he felt ready to have another child. Baelfire had only been gone for two years now.

"No, Rumple. I could never blame you for these changes. I wanted a child. A child with you. I love Elicia so dearly," she could feel her eyes welling up. "I'm just struggling with it. At times I don't feel like myself. I look so different."

"Sweetheart," Rumple spoke so softly she could barely hear him speak. He was unsure on what to say and how to address his wife.

Belle squeezed his hand. "I want to be intimate with you, Rumple. I know we're struggling with that. I love you and I always have."

He stayed quiet for what seemed like an eternity to her. She was certain Elicia would awake for another feeding before he spoke. "Belle," he finally spoke and his voice was soft and nervous. "Will you allow me to show you appreciation to your changes?"

Sex.

He wanted to have sex.

This was not like him at all, he never pushed for it once he knew she was not interested and Belle could have sworn that this confession for her uncomfortable feelings with her body was a clear sign that, as much as she wanted to be intimate with him, she couldn't because of her feelings for her body. She opened her mouth to protest, an attempt to further explain why she would reject him again. "It's not what you think, sweetheart. Let me love the parts of you that you hate, as you have done for me for so many years," Rumple moved closer to her and gently kissed her hot lips in attempt to calm her down.

He pulled away the blanket the covered her and positioned himself over her, breaking the kiss apart to focus on the buttons of her silk shirt.

"The lights," she began to protest.

"Are staying on. I want to appreciate your beauty, Belle," he finished with the buttons and exposed her chest to him.

It was only an hour ago when she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and harshly examined herself.

"Shall I work my way down?" His voice stayed soft, quiet. Reminding her of their first night together in the same bed. He was so gentle and soft spoken. Rumplestiltskin kissed her lips gently once more; soft and without any heavy weight following that demanded an entrance. He was being extra gentle tonight and respected her nerves. His lips left hers and slowly worked their way down her neck, which she allowed by tilting her head back into the soft pillow. Though she was expecting it, his hands on her breasts almost came to a shock to her.

"You say you're dissatisfied with your breasts," Rumple gently squeezed her breasts. "They are much larger now, sweetheart. But you forget that pregnancy can do that and it's normal. You're feeding our child from your breast, too. Of course they'll stay a bit larger now that they are full of milk to help our child grow. They're beautiful, Belle." She wanted to protest.

She wanted to complain about how they were now not as perky and had a bit of a sag to them, that they weren't the same ones he touched on their first night together. "Oh!" was all she could manage to squeak out.

Rumple brought his face down to her chest and brought his wet tongue to one of her hard pink peaks, sliding over it and allowing the cold air to keep it hard. His hand cupped the flesh and gave her gentle massaging squeezes as his tongue twirled around her nipple. Her other breast was held in his hand, his thumb rolling over her nipple until it also matched the firmness of her left breast. He plucked and the nipple and her other was now experiencing his lips over her peaks. Her dissatisfaction her breasts was melting away. It had been so long since he touched them this way, she could only tilt her head back and moan softly as he explored her breasts. Heat building between her legs, driving her wild in her heart. The breast that Elicia had not fed from earlier began to flow. Her milk began to slip from her nipple and onto Rumple's fingers as he played with her breast.

"Oh, stop, stop please!" Belle moaned, embarrassed by the milk.

"Am I overstepping your will?" He parted his mouth from her breast, concern in his eyes.

Belle blushed and inhaled deeply. "My milk. M-m-my milk is on your hand and dripping down my side."

Rumple smirked at her. "Your embarrassed by this? Belle, this beauty in the raw. Nature. The essence of life is flowing from your beautiful breasts. Will you allow me to clean it up?"

Her eyes grew wide. She had refused him to touch her breasts for so long in fear that he might accidentally intake her milk during an intimate moment. Here it was, the fear alive and playing in front of her and he _wanted_ to taste it and yet somehow, she was aroused by the idea. She nodded, staying quiet and feeling hot again. He moved to the other breast and started by licking the milk that flowed onto his fingers first. She shuddered and let out a low moan when he cleaned up the milk that had flown down her sides and ran his warm tongue up to her breast. He took a bold move and captured the breast in his mouth, areola and nipple perfectly protected in his mouth and his tongue lapping around her nipple. She could feel him occasionally inhale and drink back milk that he asked to come from her breast and too his mouth. Her hands grabbed hold of the bed sheets, gripping for dear life from these long overdue sensations.

"Rumple..." she moaned, feeling wetness between her legs form.

Rumple parted from her breast and licked his lips. "You taste so sweet. Warm and comforting, sweetheart."

She blushed once more, feeling as if she was about to burst into flames from this experience.

His face dropped back down and he began another trail of kisses. These gave praise to her breasts and then worked down and down until he reached her stomach. Rumple's hands joined, feeling the skin that she felt was nothing but gooey fat and skin. The pink stretch marks from the months of pregnancy glaring up at them, telling her that they'd stay for as long as they wished. Her stomach wasn't flat when she rested, a small bump was still there from a layer of fat that she struggled to remove.

"This is where our child grew," Rumple began a pattern of wet kisses over her stomach. "For nine months you carried our child in your womb. The flat stomach is gone, but now you have a reminder of being a mother." His fingertips began to trace the stretch marks on her sides while his mouth focused on her stomach the most, brushing his lips against her unfirmed skin. "These pink marks are proof, Belle. Proof that you carried a child to term. A healthy and happy child that is loved so dearly. Don't take these marks as a sign of disfigurement, sweetheart. They're beautiful."

The flesh on her stomach was now soft, bouncy and covered in marks but Rumple didn't seem to care. His tongue ran over the lines and with the curve of her new stomach. He nipped gently at the flesh and left bright red marks where the biting had become a bit more rough to excite her. Belle moaned into the actions performed by her husband, arching her hips upwards to him. He took her signal with ease and scooted down to her thighs. They were wider now and her inner thighs were marked with those pink lines that she felt like would never die away.

Rumple parted her legs and began to lick and caress her inner thighs. "Strong legs, Belle," he nipped at the flesh some more. "These legs have been through many adventures. Strong, powerful, sexual, maternal...you shouldn't be embarrassed at all by these changes."

Belle whimpered from pleasure at the touch. It had been so long since Rumplestiltskin rested between her legs. She hadn't taken the time to even pleasure herself in all these months, a lack of sexual interest that low. He was gentle as ever and slowly worked the nips and kisses down her thigh until he reached her core.

"Can I continue, love?" His eyes were gentle. Hungry, yes, for more, but she knew if he rejected his request he would be understanding.

"Yes, Rumple. Please," she stammered.

He lowers his head between her legs and after what felt like an eternity, his wet tongue made contact with her clit. Belle gripped the sheets for dear life and let out a shuddering moan. Just one tiny touch from him and she was melting away. It had been so long. So many wasted months over her insecurities. Rumple played to her interest and focused on her clit; licking and nibbling at it that drove Belle to edge. She arched her back and bucked her hips towards his face in demands for more. It felt all too good to feel his tongue rolling around her most sensitive spot. His tongue paid attention to her folds that were wet before he even touched them and he was in deep concentration to her core.

"Oh gods, Rumple!" She moaned, feeling an overdue climax building up on her. His eyes were closed, staying focused indeed. Rumple buried himself deeper into her core, rolling and lapping his tongue over. It didn't take long for the climax to follow.

Her toes curled and tingled from the sensation and her legs snapped around Rumple's waist to keep herself from floating away. She arched back and with one hand still gripping the bedroom sheets for dear life, the other made it's way down to the back of Rumple's head to secure him there until they were finished. Belle let out a loud cry from the climax and deep moans to follow as she came down from the climax. Rumple's tongue slowed down the pleasing in a dance with her body language. The more relaxed she became, the more his tongue slowed down. Rumplestiltskin rested his head upon her breasts, arms embracing her. The silk of his own dress shirt from the day sending a thrilling post-climax sensation over her skin.

"I know it's going to take time for you to feel better," he whispered. "Remember that beauty is not only skin deep. You've fallen in love with someone looking worse than you could ever imagine yourself."

Belle let out a soft sigh and ran her fingers through his graying hair. "Oh, Rumple..."

The lack of intimacy was obvious to her as Rumple laid upon her chest. He held her body close, keeping her lovingly in his arms as if to keep her there forever to remember this moment that was so scarce. "I love you, Belle." She smiled. Of course her poor body image wouldn't magically disappear over night. She was certain he could propose a potion or spell that could make her return to normal, but he respected her views on magic enough to not propose such a thing. This was raw beauty; a husband that had once been considered a monster himself, covered in golden scales and black nails now comforting his wife who he always considered too good for him over a bit of extra fat and stretch marks. All those years ago in the Dark Castle made more sense now when Rumplestiltskin rebuffed her affection and commented on how he was hideous and a monster. Things weren't so different now.

Her grip around Rumple tightened. "I love you too, Rumplestiltskin."


End file.
